It has been five years since mom died. The fall has become a strong reminder of mom- of her life and passing and the huge void that remains. It makes me crestfallen- both the crest and the falling. The fall rain, the blush in the trees, and the brush of cool air on the face all bring to mind that I should get out in the garden or go hiking or go for a bike ride, and that the holidays are coming. Then you remember that a key part of why you like to do those things is missing. It feels like when you unwrap a gift to find the packaging for a toy... but in the box there's a pair of gym socks.